Don't wait for motivation
Problems
Problem solving strategies
If you have not already seen it, depression and anxiety have the ability to steal your motivation, hope, energy, and possibly your soul if you let it. This is a very vicious cycle that can prevent you from making any improvements in your life and that can actually keep you unhappy and depressed if you let them.
We will focus on how get you moving through your life again, and what we need to help you do to generate motivation in general.
Motivation and Myths When You Have Anxiety And Depression
The myth of motivation runs deep into the realm of depression and anxiety. The length of time you may spend trying to get things accomplished may not be fruitful if you cannot get this thing called "motivation" back into your life. If you are not accomplishing what you want, you just make the statement, "I am not motivated". Most of us seem to believe that action is the result of motivation.
What you should realize is that this is one large fallacy you cannot afford to believe. The example we can give to you is one of you completing a college degree. You are in the last class you need to take. You just can't seem to get into the last paper you need to write. It is the only thing between graduating and a nice solid career path. The sun shining and the birds are calling. You just don't have the motivation to do more than just drink some beer and watch the sky.
How long should you wait for the motivation? The answer is, you should just get up and make yourself get busy. You need to generate your own motivation that in turn creates the action needed for you to begin the process of being excited enough to keep motivation going strong.
Here is a chart we have used in various evolutions. This chart has been modified to create an Activity Log.
Day
Activity
Outcome
Monday
I washed a few dishes and left some in the sink.
I thought I would just finish all of them once I got started.
Tuesday
Pay some bills
I took me most of my day off, but I did take care of it. I wish I would have felt better, but I think I worred because I took too long to pay them.
Wednesday
Checkbook needs balancing
I gave up. TOO MESSY.
Thursday
I went shopping for food.
I needed more than Frosted Flakes for dinner.
Friday
The house should be vacuumed.
I don't like doing this, but oh well. I helped out.
Saturday
I cleaned the kitchen.
I liked helping out today. I did feel pretty good.
Sunday
I washed my car.
I need this today. It was dirty filthy. I should do this more than every 5 months.
While this was the sample log, it does give you the chance to see how you can fulfill this task correctly. Take time to complete your own activity log. List the tasks you have not done and put them in the middle column. Ensure you only use tasks that can be completed and are doable. Then make sure to take the outcome and record it in the right hand column.
The activity log
Day
Activity
Outcome
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
The SOCCER Goals
The level of emotional distress one can feel appears to be extremely difficult at times. The inclusion of depression or anxiety only seems to increase this difficulty. If you do begin to be overwhelmed, you may have the tendency to start avoiding your responsibilities. We have created an acronym to help you avoid the trap of avoidance.
SOCCER
S: Situation is the true cause or nature of the problem.
O: Options given for this particular problem.
C: Consequences of what can happen with each option.
C: Choosing the option you desire to succeed.
E: Emotional plan for dealing with the level of distress.
R: Running or reviewing your plan is what happens here.
We will continue to work with the SOCCER model in more detail and you will discover the many benefits it can bring to even the new user.
Sizing it up
If you decide to try and bury your head in the sand, don't. The information you need to gather regarding your problem is you will not be the first person to ever experience this problem. You can learn much if you take the time to talk to people or do some research. Take the time to reflect upon what you have learned.
Problem Situation Charting
Over the last several years, I lost faith in my position. I usually liked to come to work, but recently the pay and the recognition have not been what I thought they should be. I know I have the skills to do the job, but let's face it after 6 years, I should be running the place. I think I should try to be more assertive and get things happening for myself.
In this charting situation, the examples give a very solid description of what is happening and the problems that are being faced. This is the time where we can begin to look at finding options.
For you we have the problematic solution chart. Make sure you describe the problem with as much detail as possible. Consider evaluating the problem with the books, articles, or insights you gain from the internet, friends, or other resources. What might be some of the sources of your problems? You must continue to look at those areas. Are there any emotional responses you can include? These can help you to make some proper observations. Finally, let yourself know how important this is to you.
The options collection
Once the problem is given, you can begin to show your creative side. What are the chances you can develop a few interesting and ingenious ways to help solve the problem? You are only limited by your imagination. Make the best of this time to get as many solid potential solutions as possible.
From the sample we gave you we created the following SitOp chart.
SitOp (Situation Options) Chart
Situation: Over the last several years, I lost faith in my position. I usually liked to come to work, but recently the pay and the recognition have not been what I thought they should be. I know I have the skills to do the job, but let's face it after 6 years, I should be running the place. I think I should try to be more assertive and get things happening for myself.
Options
Looking for a new job is one idea.
What types of classes could I take that would make me more assertive.
Maybe my boss would be willing to talk to me.
I could try to put together my own business and be successful.
I could my boss he is wrong tell him his place.
I could seek additional education.
I could improve my network skills and attend every company event.
These are the simple options. We move to the next step. You should start to prepare your own options checklist.
SitOp (Situation Options) Chart (SO Chart)
Situation:
Options List
The consequences
Once you list the many options available, what are the potential results of each option? This is the stage where you must discover what option may have what actions that will result from performing any specific option. This is not an exact science, therefore you must make a reasonable assumption based upon the known facts of each option. Follow the example situation below.
SitOp (Situation Options) Chart
Situation: Over the last several years, I lost faith in my position. I usually liked to come to work, but recently the pay and the recognition have not been what I thought they should be. I know I have the skills to do the job, but let's face it after 6 years, I should be running the place. I think I should try to be more assertive and get things happening for myself.
Options
Consequences
Looking for a new job is one idea.
In this financial climate this is not such a good idea. After all, I have been here a while and I have seniority.
What types of classes could I take that would make me more assertive.
If I would have done this sooner and tried Dale Carnegie, I could be farther ahead like some of my co-workers.
Maybe my boss would be willing to talk to me.
I can't seem to get through to my boss. Maybe he sees me as weak. Assertiveness could help.
I could try to put together my own business and be successful.
Again, with the financial climate, would I make it or go bankrupt?
I could my boss he is wrong tell him his place.
Love this idea.....but, I would lose my job.
I could seek additional education.
I have an advanced degree. Other's with education have faired no better than I.
I could improve my network skills and attend every company event.
This is like getting more assertive. I am not really into doing this, however, I may need to start doing this to get where I want.
Use the following chart to complete your personal SITOP and Consequences chart.
SitOp (Situation Options) Chart (SOC)
Situation:
Options
Consequences
Choosing the option
After you begin looking at each available option and have analyzed it for the possible results from that option, it is also important to understand the emotional and psychological factors as they impact you. Taking at look at each of the feelings you develop for each option can help you to narrow down the options you do not wish to pursue.
Once you have made your choice, it may help you to share your choice with close friends. This step may help to cement your actions into reality-the stigma of not fulfilling a commitment can drive you forward to success. Don't forget---not making a choice IS a choice. This action will lead to result, often more disastrous than your worse expectations.
Again, move forward with your personal example to complete the following charts.
My Choice Chart
What is my choice:
Courage and Emotions
So you made the decision. What do you do now? If you are like many individuals, you do absolutely nothing. While there may be a need to do the actions, what are the physical roadblocks associated with this action? The level of emotional distress with performing an action actually prevents the action from taking place.
Specific strategies to help you overcome the emotional turbulence consists of:
Talking to yourself-make sure you make positive statements about yourself and the course of action you chose. Reassure yourself you have made a good choice that was difficult to make. It is also the best choice available.
Perform a simple role-play-if you have already "done the action" in your mind, it becomes easier to actually do in real life.
Take the time to relax, the action of deep breathes will help remain calm. Take the air deep through your nose, holding your breath for a few seconds, release the air through your mouth, and continue to repeat for at least 8 to 10 times.
Complete your Emotion Chart.
My Emotion Chart
What do I feel:
Running with the Plan
The time has come for you to actually make the option an action. What will you do to ensure it is successful? You should be locating the best time and place to put this plan into action, as well as who will be around when you do it. These are all events/components that can help you with success and the subsequent follow up you will need to perform.
Review the plan
What happened:I spend much time trying to involve myself into other social arenas. I have seen more people come to me and ask for assistance. I also found out I am the chosen lead for the next project. I am more able to talk around people and don't get so nervous anymore.
Even though this was a sample example, you can see how this strategy can be successful. Don't be disappointed if the first plan or two you perform don't work out as easily. Put all of these pieces together and create your own chart.
Review the plan
What happened:
The total Soccer Plan:
Situation
Options
Consequences
Choices
Emotional Plan
Review and Run
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