The happy, jolly picture that we are force fed about Christmas is not necessarily the reality for everyone. Around this time of year, many survivors of child abuse feel a whole host of negative thoughts and feelings which usually lead to them having a pretty miserable time.
We could write copious amounts about why you feel this way, what caused you to form negative beliefs and why things don't change for you but as fellow survivors, we don't think that would be particularly helpful to you.
Instead, we would like to encourage and motivate you to give a very special Christmas gift to yourself.
We have put together some ACTION TIPS for you which we hope will help you to create a brighter, better time for yourself over the coming festive period.
These tips will be helpful to you - but only if you CHOOSE to take ACTION and FOLLOW them! As an adult survivor of child abuse, you are essential to your own recovery - only you can make this happen.
TIP 1 - plan the ultimate nice day for yourself - decide in advance what sort of day you want to have and make sure it happens!
At the beginning of each and every day, start by drinking a large glass of water with a slice of lemon or lime in it. (Keep drinking plenty of water throughout your day.)
Then have a nice warm, nurturing aromatherapy bath or stimulating shower to start your day.
You will need:
4 drops of Rose Absolute Essential Oil
4 drops of Frankincense Essential Oil
2 drops of Chamomile Roman Essential Oil
2 drops of Patchouli Essential Oil
How to prepare your nurturing bath:
Set the scene by preparing a warm room, warm towels, clean, comfortable clothes and slippers.
If possible, play your favourite music in the background.
Use soft lighting with low wattage bulbs or candles. (If you do use candles, remember to never leave them unattended, near fabric or near any other fire hazard. Take care not to burn yourself and remember to blow them out before you leave the room.)
Close the door and window and drop your oils into the running bathwater.
When your water has reached a nice level and is a comfortable temperature, lower your body slowly into it.
As you soak in the bath, take regular, slow, deep breaths.
Allow your muscles to relax and rejuvenate.
Stay in the present and focus on how your body is feeling right now.
Think about how nice it is to just lie there and rest.
Picture your body from the tip of your toes to the top of your head beginning to relax bit by bit.
If troubling thoughts start to break through, just notice them and then take your focus back to your relaxing body.
If possible, spend at least 15 minutes soaking and relaxing in the bath.
DON'T WORRY if you don't have essential oils - make sure you've got some bubble bath or nice shower gel to use.
TIP 2 - Think about what is missing in your life - what do you want to change or achieve in the coming year, focus on what you DO WANT- not what you DON'T WANT - and write it down. Don't overwhelm yourself - keep it simple and achievable, for example, "I want to increase my confidence" I want a stress free life" I want to like myself more" I want peace of mind" "I want to be kind to myself" "At least once per day, I'm going to make time for me." Keep referring to this list from time to time to remind you of your goals and your progress.
TIP 3 - Treat yourself to a nourishing, nutritious meal - imagine you are cooking for your most favourite person in the world, make that person you. As you prepare and cook the food, imagine you are pouring love and care into the mix. Your food is now filled with love, care and positive energy. As you tuck into this scrummy meal, imagine that you are being filled and infused with healthy, positive love, and nurturing.
TIP 4 - Plan and go for a refreshing walk - on your own or with others. Prepare for your walk - wear appropriate clothing - cool if you're in summer time and warm and cosy if you're in winter time. Take water if the weather is hot and a flask of tea / coffee or soup if the weather is cold. Make it a brisk walk, taking in nice deep breaths, filling your lungs with health giving oxygen. Take in your surroundings, go to a park or beach, see some 'green stuff', notice the berries on the trees, look at the wildlife and most of all, stay in the moment and ENJOY!
TIP 5 - Prepare for a lovely relaxing evening. If you have children, get them settled and off to bed and make the evening yours! Get comfortable and watch your favourite movie or indulge in your favourite hobby. Sit down and read your favourite book. Draw or paint pictures, write in your journal or write a letter to someone you like. Make yourself a gratitude list. Think of all the things you can be grateful for - a home to live in, warm food, clothes, laughter, health, a job, your loved ones etc. If you find your mind wandering off to the past, STOP - bring your focus back to the present and the task at hand.
TIP 6 - Make yourself a warm, soothing drink and get ready for bed. Get your pyjamas or nightgown nice and warm before you step into them. Take a hot water bottle to bed if it's cold. Set your lighting to low and ambient, play relaxing music on a low volume. Get into bed and let your body relax into the mattress. Take slow deep breaths and take your attention to your feet. Allow your feet to sink deeper into the mattress as you allow them to become heavy and relaxed. Still taking deep breaths, allow your legs to sink deep into the mattress as you allow them to become heavy and relaxed. Continue focussing on and relaxing each part of your body in this way to bring about a state of total peace and wellbeing.
If, for whatever reason, you are unable to sleep, why not give yourself the ultimate treat of the day and download our free eBook on Insomnia Solutions - written especially for survivors of abuse and filled with lots of easy to follow suggestions, ideas and recipes which show how you can take control of your sleeping patterns and get a good, restful nights' sleep.
You can do this by visiting www.classwebcoach.com and clicking on the link there.
We hope that you will use this guide and adapt it to your own version of your perfect day, filling it with nourishing, nurturing thoughts, feelings and experiences that empower and uplift you. As a survivor of abuse, you deserve to be loved and cared for, but first of all, you have to love and care for yourself - MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR YOU - NOW!
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