Is Depression Really a Marriage Breaker?

Is a diagnosis of depression in one spouse like a death sentence for your marriage? Many people believe that separation is inevitable when one of the partners succumbs to this malady, but that doesn't have to be the case. It may cause challenges, but if the bond between the couple is strong, then the union should be able to survive. Having a clear understanding of the disease as well as its manifestations and symptoms will help both partners cope. Although depression is one of the leading causes of divorce, there are ways that you can learn to live with and work through the problem.

Depression Is a Disease

Depression is very much a disease and needs to be treated as such. If your partner was stricken with cancer, wouldn't you give them all the support you could? This is the same commitment you need to make to a spouse with depression. You may be facing a great deal of stress and anxiety, so you will need to be tough. But, take heart, in all but the most severe cases, depression can be controlled. It may take awhile to find the rights meds, but eventually things will improve a great deal allowing you both to return to normal. Separation should only be considered if your spouse becomes so seriously depressed that you fear he or she may harm the children.

There's no denying that depression can sever the emotional connection between the partners. It can drive a wedge between you if you allow your spouse's anger and rejection to overcome you or to drive you to seeking comfort from someone else. If your mate has depression, you will need a lot of strength to maintain your marriage. A great deal of negativity is going to come into your relationship, and happiness is going to become a rare occurrence, at least for awhile. Not only that, but you are going to be expected to be strong and supportive, because that's what your spouse is going to need.

Trying to Place Blame Is Lethal for a Marriage

The urge to blame each other for the problems depression has caused within your marriage can be the single-most devastating emotion leading to divorce. Guilt is a natural human emotion, but it's debilitating in that it can make you feel ill-equipped to provide the support your spouse needs so much. In these instances, it's always best to find outside support for yourself be it from a family member, a colleague, or a professional marriage therapist. If you want to keep your marriage together through the hard times, it's almost impossible to do it by yourself. Accept healthy offers of support from those around you so that you, in turn, can be supportive to your spouse.

As an added note, I have suffered with depression for the last 30 years, and my husband has been extremely supportive. We have now been married 35 years.