C.S. Lewis, writer of the well known Narnia Chronicles, composed this very genuine line, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." For anyone who has lost someone they love no thoughts ring truer than these written by Lewis. Sadness, despite the fact that it's generally called a normal process, feels as though we are robbed of our own being.
For people who have lost somebody they love to cancer, regardless of whether these patients underwent the conventional method or seek alternative cancer treatments, there is an emptiness they feel after losing the battle. It could be said that in some way the sickness cancer preps you for death, yet grief is a bottomless well or a sinking pit one can't get out of.
In psychology there are actually 7 stages of grief prior to one can say they are genuinely over it. And although the sadness of losing somebody we love to cancer or to any form of death is something people will carry for the rest of their lives, there will be a point when we can overcome grief.
Shock and Denial
Pretending this is just a dream is the normal first reaction to grief. The shock is of it truly happening brings about disbelief and our mind's initial response is to refute it.
Pain and Guilt
Even though sadness is an emotionally charged sensation, occasionally the pain is simply too deep that it's almost physical. This ache is what causes the depression and the self-destructive ways. It's also the most anguished section of the stages. There's also such a thing as survival's guilt, feeling that we should have perished along with our cherished one.
Anger and Bargaining
For the reason that we can't do anything concerning the situation, we all experience this heavy rage and demonstrate hostility to the world or blame people for the demise. This is where people relieve the bottled sadness they feel within.
Irrationally, we also start to bargain for our dearly departed. We'd query why us or promising God specific things in order to bring him or her back to life.
Depression, Reflection and Loneliness
We then come to a point when we just want to be alone and think about what just transpired and also why this happened to our life. We'd think, we performed every little thing, alternative cancer treatments, good nutrition, the best medical doctors yet still, this is what happened. Often the melancholy is profound in this phase because this is once you comprehend the scale of the loss. People who will try to help you get out of this rut won't succeed.
Upward Turn
This is the stage when we start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We're not completely out of it but the dark has lightened up a little bit.
Reconstruction and Working Through
After seeing that silver lining, we become more functional. We start reflecting on more positive notes like what we should we with our lives, how we could restore our lives, and our utmost concern is to move on.
Acceptance and Hope
This is now the end of the tunnel and all over the sun is out and the world is a gorgeous place to live in again. You've come to acknowledge your sadness, because it isn't totally gone, but you've accepted the circumstance you're in.
It's difficult to lose someone we love, be it cancer or any other form. But as Leo Tolstoy said, "Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them."
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