I have the privilege, as a healthcare provider, of meeting with women in my office everyday to discuss symptoms and concerns related to the natural aging process. The consultations that I provide can go in many directions whether it hormones, emotions, physical needs, or mental needs. I should also preface this article by saying that these women I meet with serve in every walk of life and are in every stage of life from young to old. I provide care to executives, local celebrities, healthcare providers, school teachers, stay-at-home moms, ministry wives, construction workers, and nearly any role you can imagine. After years of doing this, I can say without a doubt that no one, regardless of professional status or responsibility, is exempt from the impact of depression. Each time I do a consultation, I always touch on the issue of depression and anxiety to fully assess the reasons for various problems. The "cause" of depression is sometimes identifiable, but most often is not. For some, depression can be explained as an inherent propensity to depression due to a strong family history of the disorder; for others it's brought on by stress and emotional trauma; for others it's a slow downward decline due to unhealthy relationships and poor social networks; for others it's the consistent feelings of failure or not meeting expectations; and for others it's due to endocrine and biological shifts of the body due to some other disease state. The reality is that whatever the cause, the effects can be significant and long lasting for some women who struggle with clinical depression.
These are the hard core statistics about depression so you have an understanding of how significant this is:
- The World Health Organization identified depression as the third most important cause of disease burden worldwide in 2004, and it is estimated that, globally, depression will be the second leading cause of disability by the end of 2020.
- In the U.S., depression is the most common type of mental illness (affecting 26% of adults).
- Women experience depression two times more than men.
- Bringing the statistics "closer to home" (so to speak), I did an audit of charts that I hold in the office and realized that 88% of my clients responded "Yes! I have experienced depression". Twenty-five percent stated they had experienced it once or twice in their life. Twenty-three percent said they experienced depression once or twice a year.
- Then to bring it "really close to home", I found that depression amongst those that I happen to know are in ministry (or simply ministry wives) experienced an average age onset of depression in their early thirties. That's our YOUNG WOMEN in MINISTRY. WOW!!! The majority experienced depression at or near five to six years in their ministry career. Mentoring young women in ministry is clearly needed and critical. The first five years have a HUGE impact psychologically for those starting their journey in ministry.
What should a woman do if she has consistent feelings of depression?
Talk to your spouse, talk to your most trusted mentor or friend, and go see your doctor. One of the biggest mistakes made by well meaning people is to give someone who is crying out for help the old "it'll get better" pat of dismissal on the shoulder. That, sadly, is often what happens when someone tries to express the feelings of being in a deep bla'se' fair state. Many woman, and particularly young women, become confused that depression is a state of weakness and find themselves very vulnerable in reaching out because of the opinions and recommended antidotes of others. Or, they just soon realize that it's the "thing I dare not speak of" because of the responses of the past. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it is to take these conversations about depression very seriously and ask the right questions to direct each woman, as an individual, toward the appropriate help. Often having an outlet to share feelings and frustrations is all that is needed (along with great studies of the Word or course), but always keep in mind that from time to time, there needs to be medical intervention.
In wrapping this up, I want to end on the power that faith holds in the battle with depression. Perhaps it's more understandable to explain the impact of a skewed perspective in this way. I once had a bathroom scale that was obviously broken and unreliable. I could step on the scale and it would display 108 pounds. That seemed great until my seven year old daughter and my spouse each stepped on it and it revealed the exact same number. The scale was obviously broken, but I think we as women want to use a faulty scale to determine our status in life. Plain and simple, you can't use society's unreliable "self-worth" scale to determine YOUR own self-worth. I always tell women not to get their hand caught in the comparison trap. It will fracture you and your spirit in a heartbeat. The scripture is clear on the fact that we are each highly favored by God. No doubt, our earthly life will bring with it trials, temptations, loss, and sometimes defeat, but God's view of us does not change and is not faulty in any way. The scripture says that He is the glory and the lifter of our heads. (Ps. 3:3) There will be times when we have to use the scripture to re-evaluate and re-calibrate our view of ourselves.
I want to tell you what God has to say about you (By the way, His scale is never broken).
Mark: we are to be believers and not doubters.
John: Christ's friend, appointed, and a recipient.
Romans: Justified, redeemed, free of guilt, and holy
Corinthians: A new creation, reconciled.
Ephesians: blessed chosen, redeemed, forgiven, God's workmanship
Timothy: saved and called
Peter: a living stone, established, chosen, royal, God's own, and a partaker.
Each of us could say that "He loves me the most!" and we would be right. I firmly believe that God is our ultimate Source and we always need to be looking to Him. I also believe that he has called and equipped pastors, leaders, mentors, and healthcare professionals to minister to others who need a helping hand and a gracious heart as they struggle through the depression. I think it's time we become sensitive to others and especially to those that are younger in ministry. Our responses and advice could mean all the difference "IN THE WORLD". Literally.
To your good health, Dr. Sonja O'Bryan
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