Depressive mood swings for the long term, is a difficult illness to deal with. I say illness because that's what it is. It just zaps all of your energy and leaves you in a miserable state of mind.
If you or someone you are close to has been depressed no matter how long; this article will be of interest to you.
I have lived with my wife of 30 years and 30 of those years she has had some form of depression. It wasn't that noticeable at first; we were both coming into the marriage with 2 younger children each. Most of her time was focused on the kids, but she would have periods of ups and downs almost daily.
Ups and downs or as some say Highs and lows can be triggered by almost anything.
We have stored memories of incidents which have happened to us, and a lot of the hurtful ones we stuff inside and try to forget. A word or action by your family will trigger a thought and the memory surfaces, or you might see something that brings it back. When this happens we start to focus on the incident and it changes our mood.
I always loved it when she was up and active, but never gave it too much thought when she was down. I would always put my arm around her and say it will be OK just don't worry about it. This worked for a while, but the memories kept coming back and she started making comparisons with things that were going on at that time. Her worrying became a little more frequent and I noticed that some of the projects she loved to do were not getting finished. She could not concentrate on anything for any length of time without worrying about what might happen.
Worry is depression's helper.
It brings in confusion, loss of concentration, zaps your energy, takes away your time, and makes you restless with no sleep. Worry is the one constant in the life of one who is depressed. Worrying is like getting tar rubbed into a white carpet. It can be removed, but it takes a professional to do it. Worry is also the cause of anxiety, which completely disrupts your thinking.
As time went by my wife would spend hours sitting on the couch watching TV, and not even knowing what show was on. I convinced her to get a job to help take her mind off of some things she was concerned about. It was a job working with crafts which she loved. She worked part-time so she could be home when the kids got out from school. Wanting to be at all of the school activities the kids were in was causing a lot of anxiety. She would ask her boss to leave early more and more often and stress was building up. She would come home and almost immediately want to lay down and take a nap. Many days her naps would last until the next morning. I was getting concerned about her health and made a doctors appointment with our general physician.
She was given anti-depressants and told to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist and doctor worked together to find the right dosages so she could function at a normal level. Things were still not back to normal, and I thought they probably never would be. I made another appointment with our church counselor who was a registered therapist with the state. We had several sessions together and were then referred to another psychiatrist. After a years' worth of sessions a lot of things were talked through and the doctor's diagnosis was that my wife was clinically depressed. She would have to be on medication for the rest of her life.
I am learning to cope with this situation in our life, and have developed certain skills to alert both of us to changes in her actions. We talk a lot more now than before, this seems to curb a lot of the anxiety and stress. She still worries about a lot of things especially our family members. I am sure that worrying is just part of her makeup.
Depression is a tough one to handle since it is so entangled in our daily lives. The people we are around and our environment influence our feelings and mood swings. It's a fact that talking about our feelings has a healing effect on our bodies and our minds.
I think the most important thing I have learned is have heart to heart talks with my wife, and I know some of them could get pretty brutal, but that's what it takes.
Earl Baldwin
April 03, 2012
No comments:
Post a Comment